You have rights, too.

Dear Single Mom,

You have rights, too. Don't forget it. God entrusted you with those beautiful children. You are going to answer for yourself and how YOU parented, not how your ex-husband did or does. Be gracious, but do not allow yourself to lose things that your child would have had you be part of if you were still married to their father.

You. Are. Still. The. Mama. Hold on to those babies, raise them right, be a good role model, don't sin in your loneliness or anger, and remember that you aren't helpless. Your kids want you as much as you want them. Don't let yourself get pushed out of their lives.

Bill of Rights for Divorced Mothers

• I have the right to be involved in any and every aspect of my children's lives. I can attend any event I want to and be part of any normal thing that may occur, including all Holidays and events of particular significance.
• I should not be made to feel like I can't or shouldn't ask questions about where my children are or who they are with.
• I have the right to meet and get to know people that will become significant in the life of my children. This is not me approving or disapproving--it is simply me wanting to understand and relate to the things that affect and are important to my children.
• If my children ever want me, I have the right to come.
• I have the right to know about significant things going on in my children's life from YOU, their father, not from THEM. This means if some woman is spending the night at your house while they are there, you should probably tell me beforehand so I don't find out by way of our 3-year-old at dinner the next day.
• I have the right to interact with you and whomever your significant other is WITH our children present. It is important that they see the entire family unit interacting positively. This doesn't need to happen all of the time, but I should not be told I cannot be around if your significant other is.
• I have the right to be respected by you, the father. You will not speak poorly about me to our children, nor will disregard my boundaries and standards for our children. If you disagree with something, we will come to a compromise together. Consistency between the parents is important, as is the children seeing that we value each other as parents.
• I have the right to protect my children. From anyone and anything. They are my first priority, and I am allowed to unleash the mama bear within me if she is needed. God made me a mama.

You Are Beautiful

Dear Single Mom,

You are beautiful. You may go days without anyone commenting on your physical appearance, and you may think that no one notices or cares, but you need to know that you are beautiful. It's difficult to feel attractive when you get blinded by the grocery list of "why I am not _____", when you notice and compare yourself to every other seemingly beautiful woman you see, and when your ears are hypersensitive to the people around you commenting on how hot that girl is who just walked by. But...

You are beautiful. The wisdom and love that bounds within your soul is worn on your face, and that's not something that all women have. Your smile does brighten the day of the person honored enough to receive it. You do have curves that compliment your figure and resound the woman that you are.

You are beautiful. You are not as fat as you think you are. The circles under your eyes are outweighed by the strong arms of yours that stay up late to rock your babies. Your hair does scream out for someone to run their fingers through it, your lips for someone to kiss. No one notices your blemishes and wrinkles like you do, and if someone does, honestly, they don't really care because...

You are beautiful. You have value. You are worth the wait. You do get noticed, even if you aren't aware of it. So next time you are feeling unattractive or you can't believe your child when she whispers to you that you are pretty, and even if no one has told you in a week...

Know that you are beautiful.

You Are Strong

Dear Single Mom,

You are strong. Don't let them get you down. You can let them know if you want to, but this is your story and your heart...and you can choose to let others in as much or as little as you want. You do not need to bare yourself so they can see the scars. You do not need to tell the war stories. You do not need to give in to their gossip by telling everyone everything so you can have the satisfaction of seeing the pain in their eyes when they know what you have been through and feel guilty for condemning you.

You will be ok. Don't believe everything they say. You will heal. You will be loved. You will wake up tomorrow and begin a new day...and if that day doesn't go so well, the sun will set, you will go to sleep, and you will wake up again. It's alright if you want to sit and cry for hours, but don't feel that you need to just because someone thinks that's what women do when their marriages fall apart. Don't feel like you need to let all of the things that are waging war against your heart and mind right now take over and incapacitate you for the next three months. You do not need to give in to the emptiness, loneliness, and confusion. You see, it's ok to be happy right now, too, and to accept the peace and restoration that God brings to people in times like these.

You are going to make it, and not just that, but you are going to rise above your past and your current situation. You were created for beautiful and powerful things. You have a Father who is holding you, and who was here before you. He knows your name. He knows the mixed pain and joy in the deepest parts of your soul. And he knows that you are an amazing woman with great strength...because he gave that to you for this exact moment.

Keep being strong. You know, and it's ok if others don't.

xoxoxo