Wednesday, January 13, 2010

We are loved

God loves my family. I don't know why, because it seems like all we do is struggle and survive instead of thrive.

We've gotten our selves into some financial strains as of late. John hasn't had any carpentry jobs to help supplement my income, I haven't been working my second job too often (honestly, it's really tough for me to be pregnant, have a toddler, work 40 hours at my desk job and then pick up a 12 hour ambulance shift on the weekend), and then came the Holidays and me being too tired to cook at night when we get home between 4:15-6:00pm. All of these things led to more spending than usual with a lower income than usual, and then more convient-food (Subway, frozen pizza, and the drive-thru) has come about to our table due to my cooking inability and John's cooking refusal. *sigh*

We had planned on receiving the $8,000 first time home buyer's credit a few months ago. Of course, things took 16 weeks instead of 12, and then we were flagged for verification. Even though I sent the paperwork back THE DAY after we received it, here we are, a month later, and still no word. Unforuntately, we have been racking up credit card debt thanks to the financial situation above and then trying to make some needed home improvements. Well, the home improvements have stopped until we get more money, so our house isn't quite put together, and it's now time to start paying the credit cards...we had fully anticipated being able to pay everything off in full before it was even due, using the $8,000. Yeah. That didn't work out. So here we are, like the typical American, having spent more than we have. *sigh*

John called me two days ago and told me that we didn't have enough money to pay our bills this month. This, of course, sent him into an even deeper depression due to his feeling like a personal failure (thank you, economy that won't give him a job!). It breaks my heart to see him suffer like this...but God loves us, and continues to provide even though I feel like if we  were smarter somehow, we wouldn't be in this situation.

The same day that John said we couldn't pay all of our bills, I went home and opened mail from the DDSO only to find out that our HEAP money went through. Hooray! So we don't have to pay our $120.00 gas bill this month. Then, I found a bag of stuff that I still had a receipt for from Wegmans, so I'll take that back and it'll be another $30.00. I listed some things on Craigslist, and have yet to hear from anyone, but who knows?

We're definitely not out of the hole, and I still don't have things worked out to pay our outstanding medical bills, start paying John's school loans back (we're on deferment for the 2nd time), or to pay for this college class and textbook that I need to get my CTRS (I'm enrolled for next semester--am trying to get financial aid to go through (though I'll still initially have to pay...with someone's borrowed money), and I'll try to get the textbook interloaned from the library until I can afford the $66.00 to buy one...hopefully). Let's not also forget the due credit card payments--not sure how we're tackling that, yet.

BUT. The HEAP and returnables help! Also, I have a WIC appointment today, which means we'll be able to get a few groceries to go along with the beans, pasta, and frozen chicken we're surviving on for another 3.5 weeks. I just looked up the food packages we'll be receiving, and I actually got tears in my eyes from how incredibly helpful this will be right now:

For Amara:


Two 18 ounce boxes iron-fortified cereal;
Two pounds whole wheat bread; or Other whole grain options.

Vegetables and Fruits
Two 64 ounce containers vitamin C-rich juice
$6 cash value voucher for fruits and veggies


Four gallons of non-fat (skim) or low-fat (1%) milk (whole milk for 1-2 year olds);
More allowed substitutions.

One dozen eggs;
One pound dried beans or peas; or Four 15 ounce cans beans or peas; or 18 ounces of peanut butter.

Pregnant Mama:

 Two 18 ounce boxes iron-fortified cereal;
 One pound whole wheat bread; or Other whole grain options.

Vegetables and Fruits
Three 12 ounce cans frozen vitamin C-rich juice;
$8 cash value voucher for vegetables and fruits

5 1/2 gallons of non-fat (skim); or low-fat (1%) milk.
More Allowed Substitutions

One dozen eggs;
One pound dried beans or peas; Or four 15 ounce cans of beans or peas;
18 ounces of peanut butter.

Thank you, Jesus! I'm so glad that we are loved regardless of our actions, abilities, or attitudes!

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