Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Waiting for an answer...

I just spent more time reading about Esophageal Atresia. It makes me want to get that next ultrasound right now just so I can know. Does my baby have a problem? If so, will I have enough time to prepare for it after I find out? Would it benefit either of us to know sooner than April 6th when the ultrasound is scheduled?

The prognosis for a baby with just E.A. is pretty good, but he will require a lot of hospitalization time and surgeries. We'll battle things like aspiration, pnemonia, other respiratory infections, GERD, and the list goes on. It'll probably be okay.

But my baby won't be able to nurse, and might even develop an oral aversion so that he will have difficulty eating and swallowing even when he is able to after all of the surgeries. I already have images of a beautiful newborn baby naked on me, squirming his way up to my chest and rooting, begging me to nurse him. Except I won't be able to let him have anything by mouth--including sucking on anything--or I may run the risk of killing him. The thought sucks.

So I'm still holding out that my little guy just happened to pee and didn't have anything in his stomach to show last time. It sure would be nice to know, though. I'm not a worried kind of person, but I am a mother and concern for your child's wellbeing is a given.

Be okay, Timothy. Be fully and completely developed. I know parents don't get choices about these things, but I'm telling you now, I absolutely don't want to be the parent of the baby I take in an ambulance.

UPDATE: rescheduled ultrasound for this Friday at 4pm (4/19)--2.5 weeks sooner than I would've had to wait! Here's a link that I found helpful in learning more about E.A.: http://www.kaylapearson.com/.

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